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Jennifer E. Thomas
j3nny3lf
...... .:::.:.:

Waterfalls
It's almost like there are these periods where our relationship is smooth and steady, and then there are times when it's like standing on the edge of this gorgeous, wonderful waterfall and just letting yourself drop, knowing that there's a safe pool of water ready to catch you at bottom. You take the plunge and you're in wayyyy over your head, but oh man, it's exhilarating, it's breathtaking, it's just incredible and you feel better than you ever have before and the water is cool and refreshing and exactly what you needed.

Sam is my waterfall.

- LJ entry from 8/2005





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Jennifer E. Thomas [userpic]
Stalker meme





Get one of your own! by Drunken Hero

Stalked again, a rant by j3nny3lf.

smcwhort is stalking j3nny3lf
smcwhort's REAL name :Sweat Gover
smcwhort's REAL DOB :05th December 1989
Height :192 cmWeight : 70.0 kg
smcwhort has dreamt about you : 9 times
smcwhort became interested in you : 30th March 2006
smcwhort's latest dream about you
You are working in an ice cream parlour. smcwhort approaches the counter and asks for a whipped vanilla cone. You step out from behind the counter brandishing a leather whip in full BDSM gear.
This is how smcwhort describes your relationship behind your back
'Whenever I pass j3nny3lf's in the street, part of me wants to shout 'Just Fuck me now baby!''
smcwhort's been stealing stuff from your house too.
smcwhort has stolen your DVD recorder and will only return it once they receive a tongue kiss from you.
They've even started modifying their body for you
smcwhort now has a full-colour image of you tattooed on their back.
They sent the following message to you in a Valentines
Be mine forever and I'll promise to never fart whilst you are eating your dinner.

The Police
No. calls to the police : 16 times
Your Last Call to The Police
"Hi, is that the police? This is j3nny3lf, could you send someone over quick, a mad fucker by the name of smcwhort is trying to knock my front door down with an axe."
smcwhort's Police File
smcwhort makes Mark Champman look well-adjusted.

Testimonies about smcwhort
otherbill - A deformed enuch
'Ahhh none of this is new to me. j3nny3lf's been telling me about smcwhort's antics for ages now. I don't honestly know why it has put up with it for so long.'
hitchhiker - Ex-priest
'smcwhort's obsession with breastfeeding should have acted as an insight into their warped mind. I can't believe I overlooked it for so long. Jesus.'
kawika - Wide-load
'Uncool and unhip smcwhort is just plain shit!'





Get one of your own! by Drunken Hero

smcwhort is being stalked on Livejournal!

j3nny3lf is stalking smcwhort
j3nny3lf's REAL name :Ivory Mccallum
j3nny3lf's REAL DOB :20th October 1986
Height :170 cmWeight : 98.3 kg
j3nny3lf has dreamt about you : 27 times
j3nny3lf became interested in you : 23rd May 2005
j3nny3lf's latest dream about you
j3nny3lf and smcwhort are the first astronauts to colonize Mars. Instead of concentrating on colonial issues, the two young lovebirds instead spend their hours making passionate love on top of Olympus Mons.
This is how j3nny3lf describes your relationship behind your back
'I think smcwhort is a little intimidated about my obsession over him but I'll soon win him over on the dancefloor with my kinky dancemoves!'
j3nny3lf's been stealing stuff from your house too.
j3nny3lf wouldn't admit to it, but they were responsible for the sudden disappearence of smcwhort's wristwatch
They've even started modifying their body for you
j3nny3lf had their tongue pierced just to win your approval.
They sent the following message to you in a Valentines
Hug me. Kiss me. Fuck me.

The Police
No. calls to the police : 10 times
Your Last Call to The Police
"Hi, police? Yeah, I'd like to report a crime. Some mad fuckers just shovelled shit into our mailbox. I think it's this person I know from the internet called j3nny3lf. Yeah, real mad son of a bitch. Can't seem to understand that I just don't like 'em."
j3nny3lf's Police File
j3nny3lf is a right sadastic bastard and should be detained for as long as possible.

Testimonies about j3nny3lf
eleri - A boring stoner
'Dear God! I knew j3nny3lf was a right thieving bastard but I didn't know they were such a skank. smcwhort is a bit of a sucker really.'
kayre - Loves staring at dead bodies
'Well well, who would have thought it? j3nny3lf a pervert? I knew it all along. They used to watch me getting undressed through my bedroom window every night.'
beki - Fathers goats
'Boring. I know smcwhort and j3nny3lf really love each other. They are both just seeking attention. Just get married and stop the fucking games already! Jesus!'
kylakae - Stoner of the crows
'All of this is incredibly funny. It goes to show how deluded smcwhort really is. I just wish he'd quit the act now and again. It grows a bit tiresome after a while.'

Tags:
Borderline symptom of the day: amusedamused