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Jennifer E. Thomas
...... .:::.:.:

It's almost like there are these periods where our relationship is smooth and steady, and then there are times when it's like standing on the edge of this gorgeous, wonderful waterfall and just letting yourself drop, knowing that there's a safe pool of water ready to catch you at bottom. You take the plunge and you're in wayyyy over your head, but oh man, it's exhilarating, it's breathtaking, it's just incredible and you feel better than you ever have before and the water is cool and refreshing and exactly what you needed.

Sam is my waterfall.

- LJ entry from 8/2005


Every Human Has Rights

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December 2017
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Jennifer E. Thomas [userpic]
Clean your house in HOW MANY minutes???

Okay, this is just hilarious: http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/home/clean-your-house-in-19-minutes-269031/

Clean Your House In 19 Minutes

With a plan of attack, you can maintain a sparkling house in just 19 minutes a day

Kitchen, 4 1/2 minutes daily
Always start with the sink. A sparkling sink becomes your kitchen's benchmark for hygiene and tidiness, inspiring you to load the dishwasher immediately and keep counters, refrigerator doors, and the stove top spick-and-span, too.

* Wipe down the sink after doing the dishes or loading the dishwasher (30 seconds).
* Wipe down the stove top (one minute).
* Wipe down the counters (one minute).
* Sweep, Swiffer, or vacuum the floor (two minutes).

Bathroom, 2 minutes daily
Make cleaning the basin as routine as washing your hands. But don't stop there. Get the most out of your premoistened wipe by using it to clean around the edges of the tub and then the toilet before tossing it.

* Wipe out the sink (30 seconds). Wipe the toilet seat and rim (15 seconds).
* Swoosh the toilet bowl with a brush (15 seconds).
* Wipe the mirror and faucet (15 seconds).
* Squeegee the shower door (30 seconds).
* Spray the entire shower and the curtain liner with shower mist after every use (15 seconds).

Bedroom, 6 1/2 minutes daily
Make your bed right before or after your morning shower. A neat bed will inspire you to deal with other messes immediately. Although smoothing sheets and plumping pillows might not seen like a high priority as you're rushing to work, the payoff comes at the end of the day, when you slip back under the unruffled covers.

* Make the bed (two minutes).
* Fold or hang clothing and put away jewelry (four minutes).
* Straighten out the night-table surface (30 seconds).

Family Room, Living Room, Foyer, 6 minutes daily
Start with the sofa -- as long as it's in disarray, your living room will never look tidy. Once you've fluffed the pillows and folded the throws, you're halfway home. If you pop in a CD while you dust, you should be able cover the whole room by the end of the third track.

* Pick up crumbs and dust bunnies with a handheld vacuum (one minute).
* Fluff the cushions and fold throws after use (two minutes).
* Wipe tabletops and spot-clean cabinets when you see fingerprints (one minute).
* Straighten coffee-table books and magazines. Throw out newspapers. Put away CDs and videos. (Two minutes.)

This is clearly for a house that nobody lives in.

Borderline symptom of the day: amusedamused

One old amid, or a couple who are both neat freaks. They have no children and no pets. One teenager can just walk through a house and it a total wreck.

I could clean the house in 19 minutes, as long as I moved a *whole* lot faster than I do now. For me to give it a good going over? Probably an hour or so (but it's a house with no more children, so that helps a lot).

What drugs are they on? 'Cause I could use them. *wry*

I can't even do one meal's dishes, for one person, in 15 minutes. 30 seconds? Riiiiight. (Low income housing = no dishwasher (nor room for one). Fibro/CFS/neuropathy = I do *not* move fast. Ever. If I had to run from zombies, well, what's left of my brain would be somezombie's delicacy.)

Leaving the time off, it's actually a fabulous plan - and a lot quicker than you'd think, although not under 30 minutes.

It's actually remarkable what you can do in 5 minutes. When the fatigue and the pain are really bad I do everything in bursts - set the timer and start a task. I can *do* five minutes, even when I feel horrible - and if I do several bursts a day, I can get a lot done.

Yeah, the timing is off, but I'm not going to trash this just because they sound a little unrealistic.

Someone has a seriously broken brain. 19 minutes would *maybe* be enough for me to clean off my computer desk.

Hell, to get the kitchen sink sparkling would take me 20 minutes alone.

Not to mention i have a 9 year old kid and a 120something pound dog. And the evil that is Brunie.

This is just totally laughable. And oh am I laughing! LOL!

No, this is fine. This is cleaning. This is not tidying. This assumes an already tidy house. In a house where everything is in its place, this is totally reasonable.

Now, if you know where I can get a self-tidying house, I'll be very very happy. :)

No stinkin' subject! - (Anonymous)

You brush your teeth?

I thought hags only had tooth. Singular.

This is just BEGGING for a satirical rewrite!

One quick read through those 16 points and I find 21 errors. Wow.

Actually, that's about how long it takes me every day to do a quick clean on the house. This isn't deep-cleaning, mind you. This is just the everyday sweep-up that gets done.

First thing I do every morning is to get up and make the bed after myself. Then, right after breakfast is when I clean the kitchen (but I don't start with the sink). I surf the net for about an hour after that then make lunch. Clean up from lunch and start the day's chores. Feed animals and clean barn. Fix dinner and then clean up. Rinse, repeat. That's my life in a nutshell. ;) It's no wonder I take so many psychotropic medications. :D

Oh, and no, I'm not a Stepford wife. I just clean my house really well and then all it takes is a quick wipe-down to keep the crud under control. *shrug*

Come visit. I need your help! :)

wow, that's... delusional.

This "wipe down" stuff will not clean my house. It would do little more than keep the dust from building up on the baked-on crud on the stove top.

My youngest cat's favorite game is making the bed. He loves to attack the covers when the Hubby fluffs them out. Making the bed takes at least than 5 minutes.

Straightening the night stand... the only way I could do that would be to sweep everything off into a storage tub.


This isn't to clean an already filthy house, but to keep a relatively clean house in that condition. In other words, my apartment is not currently a candidate for this method.

Edited at 2008-09-26 03:06 am (UTC)

Not one with kids and dogs in it. Trust me.

The principle is good - if you started with a clean house and then did that every week, it would work well enough. It's similar to the way stoda and I clean house, in short, time-limited bursts. I think their time estimates are a little optimistic, though. For example, "Pick up crumbs and dust bunnies with a handheld vacuum (one minute)." Assuming I even had a handheld vacuum (I don't and have no desire to), it would take me a minute just to get it out and set it up.