Over the weekend I set up my BillPay to .. pay my bills. Then forgot about it.
We had about $4000 in the bank when I set it up. $2500 had to be sent back to my FIL, $500 to Koji for Amy's Christmas plane ticket (she's coming for THREE WEEKS!!!), and the rest for electric, phone, etc. And then I ordered new batteries for my wheelchair. And managed to mess that up by selecting next day air instead of ground.. a difference of A HUNDRED AND ELEVEN DOLLARS!!! (Which they credited back to me this morning, but my heart nearly stopped when I realized what I had done!)
I go to my bank site this morning before the battery shipping was credited, and from $4K we were down to.. $14. I just about wet my pants in panic. Called Sam, sobbing, and he reminded me that he still had not deposited his pay check that he got on the first. So he went straight to the bank and did that. We are now financially flush, and in fact, ahead of the game for this month. Phew. But what a shocker to go from so much to so little overnight. It was like, whoa! Our personal economy was collapsing along with the world's!
Other stressors: I have a UTI, again. I hate hate hate these things. Cranberry capsules, here I come. And adult diapers only because these infections make me feel very insecure. Go ahead and giggle, I do.
I'm tired and I took my melatonin about 45 minutes ago, so getting even more so.
Have I told you all about the miracle that is melatonin? My pdoc prescribed Trazodone for me to sleep by, and I hate how deeply it makes me sleep. I don't think I dream with it. Ambien doesn't work well for me, and I will not take any of the narcotic types of sleepers. So Sam suggested trying melatonin.
The stuff knocks me right out, but I dream and I wake up easily after seven or eight hours. If I wake to go to the bathroom in the night I'm outrageously out of it, but that's okay, all I need be able to do is open my eyes far enough that I don't trip over the dog or cat. I lurve my melatonin. I was reading up on it, and apparently it looks like it may also be useful for bipolar disorder, so there's another plus.
Speaking of mental illness, I have a friend I met on IRC about a year ago, a really nice guy who lives with schizophrenia. I'm concerned about him right now because his meds haven't been working well and he's pretty well out of it at the moment. Good thoughts and prayers for his peace of mind, please, he can sure use them right about now. He's a really sweet person and the crazy is, pardon the pun, driving him nuts.
As to my own mental illness, I haven't cycled in several months now, although I've been pretty anxious for a while. Nothing I can't handle, though, as proven by the fact that I've hardly needed any Klonopin lately. None at all in the last ten days, and I still have more than half of LAST month's prescription left. This is a good thing.
Sam is sitting at his desk, within arm's reach of me, grading student's homework, and singing along to his headphones. His hair is getting long again. He looks so handsome with longer hair. My beloved hairy bear man.
A friend of mine got married a couple of months back, and it's so nice to see him so happy. The woman he married seems to be exactly right for him, she builds him up and backs him up, and loves him to bits. It's GOOD to see friends finding joy.
Another friend is coping with her depression and feeling lousy right now, so, good thoughts and prayers there, please.
The boys are doing fantastically in school. Report cards are due this week, but I already know for sure that Evan and Ian have straight As, and it looks like Sean has As in everything but geometry and English. Geometry is likely a B, and English.. could be as low as a C. Both because he doesn't turn in his homework assignments. He does them, I guarantee you that much, because I beat him with a fence post until he does. So why isn't he turning it in? I don't know.
More and more, I love my church. The youth and children's ministries are amazing. Every month they hold a special event of some sort for the children. This month they're either going bowling or putt putt golfing. The youth also do something once a month. This month they went to a Christian stand-up comedy show, and each month they also have a sleepover at the youth pastor's house. Because it's a co-ed group, neither Brandon (the youth pastor) nor his wife Kristin, get any sleep that night, because they're too busy supervising.
There are also weekly activities. Wednesday night is a youth group study group, where Brandon teaches them abuot applying the Bible in their daily lives, and they feed them supper, too. Sunday evenings the children's ministry has the kids in for crafts and either pizza or hot dogs.
The UMC seems to be very big on feeding people. My kids are all fed once a week during activities. Then again on the monthly activity. Then there's a monthly pot luck following the service on the third Sunday. And now they've started a support group for us caregivers for special needs kids, with its own pot luck supper each month. Not to mention the baked goods and coffee every single Sunday in "Heavenly Perks", our coffee nook at the rear of the church.
It's a good place. I got my friends Nita and Stacey to visit a couple of months ago, and now they are joining the church this coming week. Makes me happy.
Did I mention that Sean (15) has a girlfriend? His first one! She writes him sweet little notes and dots all of her "i"s with tiny hearts. It's ridiculously cute. He has not kissed her, says he doesn't plan to until he knows if he's in love with her. Sam has given him the "keep it in your pants" lecture, and the "respect her" lecture. I want to invite her over for dinner next Sunday, but Sean says he's not quite ready for that to happen yet. Good. He's taking things slow.
Let's see.. what else?
Oh. Have begun making bears. Need to buy some muslin to make a couple of "permanent" copies of the pattern, one for me, the other for my wunnerful jennkitty.
And some time this week, I am going shopping with a lady from church for fabric. She is going to teach me to quilt! This is an art form I have wanted to learn for many years, and Frances is thrilled to have somebody to teach it to. Her daughter was never interested, and now that her own eyesight is failing she can't really do it for herself any longer, so she is glad of the chance to pass the skill down to an eager learner.
I'm rambling again.
Re-reading Heinlein's The Past Through Tomorrow, and reminded again of what a superb writer he really was. What a great loss when he died.
I was looking through my jewelry box today. I've collected some really pretty pieces over the last few years. Nothing worth major money, but every single item is really pretty and something that Sam and I chose together, with very few exceptions to that last bit. I no longer have any of the jewelry given me by the ex. I pawned it all along with the stuff the incubator sent back to me, and gave away the Swarovski rose he had given me as well (and the other trinkets he gave me). Why hang on to sad and bad memories? It was a cleansing, and was the right thing to do.
Am slowly but surely learning how to put the bad stuff behind me. Thank God.
My life is rich and full and happy. What more could a girl want?
And to top it all off? Amy finishes high school in TWO WEEKS! Then she goes on to City College in SF in January, to do their culinary arts program and get her associates before moving on to the bachelor's degree. I'm so proud of that girl I could just bust!