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Jennifer E. Thomas
...... .:::.:.:

It's almost like there are these periods where our relationship is smooth and steady, and then there are times when it's like standing on the edge of this gorgeous, wonderful waterfall and just letting yourself drop, knowing that there's a safe pool of water ready to catch you at bottom. You take the plunge and you're in wayyyy over your head, but oh man, it's exhilarating, it's breathtaking, it's just incredible and you feel better than you ever have before and the water is cool and refreshing and exactly what you needed.

Sam is my waterfall.

- LJ entry from 8/2005


Every Human Has Rights

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Jennifer E. Thomas [userpic]
Five years

I've been trying to figure out why I can't sleep without thoughts of the past crowding in and keeping me awake for hours on end.

I just looked at the calendar.

Five years ago, my second husband told me he loved me and went out to walk the dog. He moved right in with one of my "best friends".

And that night I took over eighty 150 mg Wellbutrin in an attempt to die. Three days of convulsions and intensive bad hallucinations later, I regained some semblance of myself. A permanently brain damaged semblance, but still.

I bet they have no trouble sleeping at all. People without a shred of human decency or morals generally sleep like lambs.

Dear God, please, just let them die in a freak plane wreck that lands on their car or something. Amen.

Borderline symptom of the day: weirdupset


(((HUGS))) Maybe you can't sleep cause you got that hate in your heart still. If he hadn't walked out, you would never have taken the Wellbutrin and perhaps learned how much help you really needed with it all. Maybe if he hadn't walked out, you'd never have met Sam, fallen in love, and built a great big family with. I believe all things happen for a reason and I know you must believe that too - you say you are a Christian - so my thought for you is, maybe it means you need to work on that hate in your heart and come to a place of forgiveness - not for them, but for you.

I second this. Heartily.

Oh, this I know. I just don't have a freakin' clue where to start, you know?

Pray on it every time you can. Just ask God to help you find forgiveness for them.

I agree. Nothing good comes from nursing hatred, because they couldn't care less. It only eats *you* up. It was a shitty thing they did and they deserve each other. I don't pray for horrible things to happen; I pray that they come to their senses and have to live with the reality of what they did to innocent people.

God will take care of the vengence. You don't have to.