And then some beautiful memories popped up. The birth of my beautiful Amy. My Grammy's kitchen and her china. My sister dressing me up and teaching me makeup. My Dad teaching me the meaning of the word "love" one night when I was four years old. Watching Ethan's birth when I was eight years old. Nova Scotia and all its beauty. Meeting and falling in love with Sam.
Really, the good stuff is of so much more value.
And it occurs to me. I can choose to wallow in the filth and despair of years ago.
Or I can choose joy.
I can choose to remember the bad stuff, but not dwell on it. I can choose to wallow in the good, instead.
So this is what I am going to endeavor to do.
I choose joy.