Jennifer E. Thomas (j3nny3lf) wrote,
Jennifer E. Thomas

Things I will probably never do, but wonder about

My life so far has been pretty interesting. I've managed to see a bit of the world (most of the US, eastern Canada and Toronto, Brisbane and Sydney Australia, and Japan), loved fiercely, played hard, seen many and many a good live concert, been loved, been romanced, been dumped, worked, owned my own business, lots of stuff. But there are many things I've never done and probably never will do. Here are a few.

Skydiving. That's just not going to happen, folks, not even if I had a body that agreed with it. Back when I worked at Friendly's there was another waitress, I think her name was Margo, who went skydiving most weekends, and she invited pretty much all of us to go with her. I never did take her up on that. Jumping out of a perfectly good plane when I'm in no danger of dying if I stay in it? No thanks. But I bet it feels marvelous...

Skateboarding. Tried to do it. Tried really hard to do it. But I never could manage to get the hang of staying off my behind. I think it would have been cool to skate in an empty pool or something, or do some of those cool jumps and twists.

Natural childbirth. Both of my kids were born via Cesarean section. Bonnie was footling breech with a prolapsed cord (it was hanging to my KNEE!) and Amy was supposed to be a VBAC but when I went in to be induced my herpes had flared up. Dr. Merryfield wanted me to go home and come back when it cleared up, but the pregnancy had been very difficult and very scary. I just wanted the baby OUT. So a few hours later, there she was. :) I don't regret not having experienced natural childbirth, I had two healthy and beautiful daughters, but I do wonder what it feels like sometimes, physically speaking.

Driving fast. I learned how to drive, sort of, but never did get above about 40 MPH and never passed the driving test. I bet it feels kind of nifty to zoom down an empty stretch of road in a decently running vehicle, and know that you're in control of it.

College. I've been thinking a lot on this one and really don't think I want to spend any of my life in a classroom. Maybe the occasional class for my own personal enrichment, but not for a degree, that requires more than I'm willing to put into it. I wonder what it feels like to walk across a stage and be given a diploma. I never even finished high school!

A split. I could NEVER do a split, not even after several years of ballet classes. Not the frontways one, not the sideways one. I only got so far down before i sort of fell over like an unbalanced scale. How do people DO that?

A cartwheel. My attempts at cartwheels were very sad to see. I'd run, twist, and kind of flump to the ground. Much hilarity would ensue among my friends. This is why I never did take gymnastics. I didn't have the boobs for it, anyway!

The tango. I love the way the tango looks, it's so damn sexy. But I've never learned it, and now the body just won't handle it. But sometimes I daydream myself into a slinky red dress and some FMPs, stick a rose between my imaginary sparkling white teeth and tango the night away.

Purr. I believe that the only thing God didn't give us that he should have was a purr box. Cats are so lucky to have one! I wish I could purr when Sam is snuggling me. Mmmmming just isn't as good, I don't think.

Hang gliding. I saved the best for last. Koji and I used to watch these folks hang gliding off the cliffs near Daly City, CA, and I was always amazed by the sheer beauty of it. Running start, lift your legs, and just.. fly. I'm terrified of heights and would never have gotten the guts to do it, but man, it looks like the most amazing and incredible thing in the world.

Those are some of my never done it, never wills. Do y'all have any?

Please note, I don't really have regrets about most of this (except purring and hang gliding, really), I just have wondered often over the years what they're like.
Tags: adventure

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