Five years have gone by so fast. When I met Sam, Amy was 13 years old and in junior high school. Now she's graduated high school and is well started in college.
Sean was eleven years old. Ian was about to turn nine, and Evan was only six. Now Sean is sixteen, Ian fourteen, and my baby Evan is eleven. The two older ones are very deep baritones.
Sam was working on his Master's degree at UTSA. He's very close to starting his doctoral dissertation now at UNT.
And when I met this wonderful man, I was freshly out of the psychiatric ward after a very serious suicide attempt following the explosion of my then marriage. I saw nothing worth living for, not even my beloved little girl, my beloved big girl, or my grandchildren. I had no hope, no faith, no dreams.
I remember once, early on, Sam asking me about my dreams, what did I want to do with my life.. and I burst into tears, because I had none.
Now? Now I have dreams. To see my kids grow up, become productive and happy adults with families of their own. To see my husband get that PhD. To see myself do.. I'm still not sure what, but there's something out there for me to do once Sam is settled in a job and the kids are needing less of me. I am unsure yet as to what it is, but when I see it, I'll recognize it and grab it.
And Sam and I?
We're solid. Happy. Together. Five years, and it only feels like eleven days have passed.
And that's the best part.
Originally posted on http://j3nny3lf.dreamwidth.org - but you can comment either here or there. I prefer HERE!