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Jennifer E. Thomas
j3nny3lf
...... .:::.:.:


Waterfalls
It's almost like there are these periods where our relationship is smooth and steady, and then there are times when it's like standing on the edge of this gorgeous, wonderful waterfall and just letting yourself drop, knowing that there's a safe pool of water ready to catch you at bottom. You take the plunge and you're in wayyyy over your head, but oh man, it's exhilarating, it's breathtaking, it's just incredible and you feel better than you ever have before and the water is cool and refreshing and exactly what you needed.

Sam is my waterfall.

- LJ entry from 8/2005





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June 2017
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Jennifer E. Thomas [userpic]
Death and life






Three years ago a fat little roly poly pup followed my boys home from a walk. After we located his owner and found out they were looking to rehome him, Chunk became Bear McWhorter, and joined our family.

Half sharpei, half labrador, we told everybody he was a sharprador peitriever.

I've never had a more DOGGY dog in my life. His entire body would wriggle with delight when somebody walked through the door. He would try to converse with us in dog language, unusual sounds that weren't quite low volume barks. He would roll on his back and demand tummy rubs. He chewed through a rawhide bone every few days and he could run like the dickens.

Unfortunately, he had some moments of very severe aggression. He nearly killed a kitten we adopted about six months ago. He bit Ian once (Ian deserved it, but it's part of a pattern). He savaged the neighbor's dog. He would fight with any dog, any time, even when leashed.. and he was STRONG. Too strong for the kids to hold him back when that started.

Last night he went after my cat, Pixel. He had her by the neck and threw her about two feet into the air.

It was his last chance, we had decided after the kitten if we saw another sign of aggression, we would have to put him down. Too risky.

At 3:30 today, Sam, Sean and I took Bear to the vet. Sean was always, from the start, Bear's boy. Honestly I think Sean loved that dog more than anything in his life. We told Sean he didn't have to go, and his response was "Bear is MY dog. I'm not going to abandon him NOW, I need to see him through and to the other side."

The vet couldn't find a vein, and Bear began to panic. Sean held himself together, soothing the pooch, talking to him calmly and peacefully. The vet gave Bear a sedative, and while it took effect, Bear's boy cuddled him, told him over and over what a Good Boy he was, how much he was loved, Good dog, Good Bear, Woof Woof Bow Wow Big Bear Doggy Woggle.

Then the vet came back in and found a vein. Sean held his dog throughout, Sam and I also patting him, all three of us murmuring words of love to our dog. And his breathing slowed and slowed. And just as his took his last breath, Sean said "I love you, Bear" and Bear was gone.

The vet said "I'm so sorry" and left the room, leaving us with our dead.

And that's when Sean broke down, wrapped his arms around that big floppy dog and sobbed as if his heart were breaking.. which it was. I am not ashamed to say that Sam and I were crying too.

The whole family feels bereft. And so we did something to help us along our healing path.

We saved a life, today. We went straight to the humane society, where we adopted a pretty little pooch who was scheduled to be euthanized at 6 PM today. Not to replace Bear, he can't be replaced. But to bring a little balance, and to give us a dog to love, because there is a dog shaped hole in our family now, and it needed filling, especially for the children's sake.

Here is Molly






Out of the death of one beloved dog, life for another, soon to be beloved dog.

Originally posted on http://j3nny3lf.dreamwidth.org - but you can comment either here or there. I prefer HERE!

Tags: ,
Borderline symptom of the day: sadgrieving
Comments

Oh Jenn.... Nothing I can say will make a difference. Only time will. *hughughug*


Also, I am SO PROUD of Sean. That took a tremendous amount of courage.

I am SO sorry for your family's loss of such a beloved pet. Sean has shown remarkable courage and responsibility in the face of such a horrible situation. I hope he realizes the extremely mature step he took today.

Molly is cute but you're right in that she won't be a replacement for Bear. She'll be Molly, instead. I hope the boys can come to grips with the whole thing.

We've been telling Sean how proud we are of him. I expect he'll have some rocks to climb over in the next few weeks as he adjusts to life without Bear.

He picked Molly out, and seems quite smitten with her. She comes home on Friday after being spayed tomorrow.

I'm sorry that Bear is gone, but how is your cat? Is Molly integrating with the family well?

The cat was damn lucky, no injury.

Molly won't be coming home until Friday, she is being spayed tomorrow.

I think she will create herself a nice little niche. Very sweet temperament. She likes to sit in laps.

I'm so sorry, hon. Putting an animal down always sucks, but do do it when it's not even dying...wow. *HUGS*

My sympathies. And Molly is adorable.

wow, what a tough situation you & Sam & your family found yourself in. I think you did the right thing though. Your new lil dog Molly looks cute! I hope you all settle in well with one another.

I'm so sorry about Bear. I'm glad Pixel is okay, and I hope Molly brings joy and delight to all of you for years!

I'm sorry you had to have Bear put down. You did the right thing, though. Sean was very brave today. There aren't a lot of adults who could do what he did. All of you were brave. What a painful day you've had.

Oh sucky! I'm so sorry you had to do that. But you did the right thing (as you know). And I hope Molly brings you healing.

I'm very sorry for your loss today. This entry made me tear up. I know what it's like to lose a pet, though not in this manner I'm sorry if anything I said tonight made it worse. It was not my intention. I love you very much and I do not want to hurt you.

No darlin', you didn't upset me. I started out upset, and you could have said: "The sky is blue!" and it would have rubbed me wrong. Ever had one of those days?

I love you, you're my brother.

And you just lost the game. HAHAHAH!

(Oh god, you play The Game too? Well guess, what, honey -- YOU LOSE!)

GoodThoughts and condolences...

Bears former owners have a great deal to answer for. I have Never known a vicious sharpei or lab. I understand the problem, but my heart cries for Sean. Remind him that Bear will be waiting for him on the other side of the Rainbow Bridge. Healthy, happy and loving, along with all the other pets he will have over the years.

*hugs*

I'm so sorry about Bear. Sean (and you) showed incredible strength throughout, though, and then had the open hearts to save another life. You and your family never cease to amaze me.

Hope Molly will being you great joy.

I'm sorry that Bear is gone, and letting him go was a tough decision, but the right one. Sean is one admirable kid!

Molly doesn't quite classify as a foofa appearance wise, but she's pretty cute regardless. Measure her neck and let me know her favorite colors, I'd like to send her something. :)

Was there no chance for behaviour modification? I know people who've adopted Rottweilers, pit bulls, and other dogs that have aggression issues.

I am so sorry you had to make that agonizing decision.

i'm sorry :( *hug*

Oh, I'm so sorry for the loss of Bear. So very sorry. And so damn proud of Sean.

Thank you for saving Molly's life, too. I'm sure she'll be a wonderful addition to your household.